Thursday, October 25, 2012
Since I decided to become a surrogate I've been waiting for a negative response from someone out there. Didn't know who it would be, but I was pretty sure SOMEONE would have something less than supportive to say. Fortunately (for them) if anyone has wanted to say something pessimistic, no one has said it to my face :) I am not speaking of genuine curiosity, sincere questions from people who just don't know the answers; I mean statements that immediately come off as negative. I have been so happy and pleasantly surprised with all of the outpouring of love and support I have received. And then today it happened! Not to my face, but almost as bad: to my mother. I don't think statements were actually said today, just that she told me about it today. For those of you who have not met my mom, let me just say that my feistiness came directly from her, to put it mildly. Anyone making negative comments about her only daughter is going to get an earful. That woman is 5'2" of attitude when provoked :) Damn I love her! Long story short, apparently someone has made comments to the effect that Russell and I would be "rolling in the money now" because of the surrogacy, and that some women just do this over and over again for the money. I am not sure where this person got their information from, but they are sorely mistaken. Yes, I am being compensated for this; no, we will not be wealthy. The vast majority of the money the parents are paying for this goes towards things they would be paying for if the mother were pregnant herself: lab work, medical tests, insurance, maternity clothes, doctor/hospital fees. The money I am receiving outside of those expenses mostly covers lost time from work and reimbursements for time spent doing pregnancy related appointments. In addition, we are using every penny that we are given for compensation to pay off old debt. We are not taking vacations, buying new cars, shopping or spending recklessly. Any person who thinks that this is "easy money" is completely wrong. While things have been really great for me, there is a huge level of dedication from myself and my family to make this happen. It has affected every aspect of my life. The hours spent being interviewed, analyzed, poked and prodded, quarts of blood given, shots in my ass every day for 3 months, pills taken, schedules sacrificed, uncomfortable medical procedures, hours of travel etc. truly can't be translated into a dollar amount. I am not ashamed to be receiving money for this, but let me be very clear in saying that I cannot possibly imagine anyone who would do all of this simply for the money. Will my family benefit? Absolutely. Does the couple feel like they get the better deal out of this? You bet they do. I have never claimed to be an altruistic saint; I truly believe this is a win-win situation. And no, I will not be doing this again. I believe that God prompted me to undertake this journey specifically for the couple I am working with, not to make money. Anyone who has questions is free to ask me whatever they wish, but you might want to avoid implying anything less than favorable to my mom. She will hurt you.