Sunday, December 23, 2012

Mental preparedness

Snuggling with my man last night, I was musing about how on Christmas day, I will be 32 weeks into this pregnancy. Time flies! Without a doubt, this has been my fastest pregnancy. Russell asked "Are you ready?", meaning ready for labor. And my answer was no, I'm not. I'm not "over being pregnant" and I am also not mentally ready to give birth. Which means it is time to get ready! At this point, my goal is to make it to 37 weeks, since that would be full term for these little ones. The best start I can give them in life, the better. I could easily go that long since things are going so well, but the babies could just as easily decide they are done and ready to come out before then. It is important that I trust the babies, trust my body to know when it is time. There are many people out there who think of labor as something that happens to women instead of something that we actively rejoice and revel in. Each woman's labor is different, but as a doula I strongly desire every woman to feel as though she is an active participant in her own labor. There are many things out of our hands during childbirth, but labor is about walking that fine line between control and surrender. Surrender to the biological, intuitive processes and control over the decisions we make.
So it is time for me to mentally prepare for this birth. What a freaking awesome thing to get to experience the birth of twins!! I am really excited about it, and I'm sure some of you think I'm crazy for it :) How do I mentally prepare? I envision my "perfect" birth, how things would go if I could control the whole scenario. What would make me happiest, what would be best for the babies, what would make the parents happy. I frequently hear people say that all that matters is that mom and babies are safe and healthy, bottom line. And while it is true that is the ultimate goal, that is a given. Who DOESN'T want that to be the end result?? Envisioning how I want this go involves more than that because I truly believe that how a child is brought into this world influences that child and the mother for the rest of their lives. I truly do. I don't say this to say that one way is better than another, that one woman's choice or birth experience is superior to another; the last thing I want to do is judge anyone who has been through any form of childbirth. Those experiences should unite us, not be one more platform by which to judge. We deal with enough mommy guilt as it is. My point is that it is important to know that I am not having something "done" to me, I am in charge of making decisions and joyously
participating in childbirth.
My "perfect" birth would be a calm, spiritual experience. A vaginal birth without medication. A birth in which I feel empowered. I want the babies to be lined up in the proper position, or if they aren't, I want my doctor and midwife to be able to turn them. I want each of the babies' cords kept intact while they rest on my chest. I want the mother there to be a part of it and to cut each of her babies' cords herself. I want my labor and delivery mix playing in the background. I want my amazing husband there as my coach, looking at me with love and awe in his eyes. I want the babies to be big and strong and healthy. I want their mother to be able to nurse them as soon as possible. And I KNOW, I feel it in my soul, that the babies want this too. The parents are totally on board with all of this, and together our families believe that this is what will happen. I'm not delusional, I know that there can be circumstances that prevent this from happening. But in my experience having a clear vision of what you WANT to happen is the best way to make it happen. I have never said I'm going to "try to go natural and vaginal"  but that I will go natural and vaginal.  If for whatever reason that doesn't happen, so be it, I will surrender to whatever the safest way for these babies to be born is. But I am not going into it with trepidation or doubts. I am going into this with pure love, pure faith, pure trust.

1 comment:

  1. It can happen! You are one strong lady, and I know, given the can do it ;)