Monday, November 28, 2011

You're gonna do what??!!

Well, here I am, a place in my life that I never expected to be. Truthfully, I've found myself in unexpected places before, so that part isn't really unusual for me. What is unusual is that I am planning on carrying and giving birth to a baby that genetically has nothing to do with me.
You may be curious as to how I reached this decision, what my motivation is to do such a thing. There really isn't one answer, but the most simple response is that I want to help a family become complete. I want to do what I can to enable two people become parents. I want to use the abilities that I have been blessed with to make someone else's dream come true.
As anyone who is a parent can attest, becoming one is the most life changing event that will ever happen to you. It doesn't just change your lifestyle, it alters you in a fundamental way that shakes you to your very core. It is earth-shattering. It alternates between heights of profound happiness and depths of deepest self-doubt. Once undertaken, it is a job you never leave, and it colors your every perception of the world. And I love it. I am hooked, mind, body and soul. I am a junkie, a convert, a fanatic, a true believer that family, however you define it, is the most important thing on earth. My children have changed me irrevocably, each in their own ways, and I thank God every day for that.
The knowledge that there are those who want this craziness we call parenthood and are unable to have it, is not new to me. I have known several friends who have struggled with this issue in one capacity or another. What really brought this issue to the forefront with me was a book written by Jennifer Weiner, my favorite chic-lit author. "And Then Came You" is a fictional (highly fictional) account of surrogacy from all of the women involved in this one particular situation. It is not entirely realistic, obviously, but it really pulled at my heart strings. My midwife told me during my last pregnancy that I was made for it; I should have a ton of kids. And despite the fact that we are perfectly happy with our two amazing kidlets, she was right. My body handles pregnancy wonderfully. I get knocked up easily- both times it was the first month we started trying. I've never been sick, I feel great, and I have fast, amazing labors. My body goes into auto-pilot and I love every second of it. Labor is a beautiful, spiritual, empowering experience for me; I truly love it.
So here I am: a woman who loves pregnancy and childbirth but doesn't want to raise more kids; a dedicated birth doula passionate about the work and importance of birth; and a deeply emotional mommy. Surrogacy seems ideal- but will it be? There are so many unknowns. I invite you  to join me as I journey, as I learn, as I question, as I grow.


  1. Chastity,
    I think that is truly a remarkable decision! Your unselfish manner speaks so loudly. You are taking steps, leaps, and bounds to be a blessing for someone else: awesome! I will stick around for the ol'pregnancy, lol...AGAIN, you are truly a blessing....
    KOJI, R.N.

  2. I feel like there are a lot of things I could say but one thing just keeps coming to mind and it's perfect, actually, and all that is needed...LOVE you! :)