Monday, January 23, 2012

Psychologist, part 2

Just when I thought I was done with the interview portion of this whole process, I get a call from my not-so-favorite therapist. I had conveniently forgotten (purposely blocked out) that there would be a group interview with the psychologist once I was matched with a couple. Sigh. I obviously have some insecurities   or I wouldn't be so ambivalent about this interview. One one hand, all of my deep dark secrets and entire life story have already been laid bare for this woman and for the intended parents, so its not like I have anything to hide. On the other hand, her "couch-side manner" strikes me as condescending so I just don't like her. In fact, I am much more comfortable with the medical proceedings that will involve a catheter and my uterus than the psych proceedings that will just involve talking. A big part of me is also frustrated with myself for feeling apprehensive about it. Seriously, what is my problem? What is the big deal? Its already a go, the couple and I adore each other and are super excited about moving forward. Yet there it is: the image in my head of me sticking out my tongue at her.
I really believe that it is important to honor one's feelings, acknowledge them, accept them, process them and then act accordingly. So this is me processing. And I'll be processing for the next week until the appointment.

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