Friday, July 6, 2012

Heartbeats

Well today was the big day, the day the intended parents and my family have been waiting for: the first ultrasound. I am so glad they were able to make the trip to be there with me so we could hear the news together! This is how it went down:

The doctor began the ultrasound and as soon as it appeared on the screen, I noticed there were 2 embryonic sacs. So did the parents. We looked at each other, but didn't say anything because "what if..." Dr. Miller says, "Interesting...how many embryos did they put in?" "Two"  "Oh good, my guess is that both of them took!" Woohoo!!! Tears and prayers from everyone around! He then found the little flickering heartbeats in both sacs and confirmed that it was twins. They are too small at this point to get any accurate measurements, so I will be going back in 4 weeks for another ultrasound. The parents, the nurse and I were all crying and laughing, and Mom even dropped to her knees and said a prayer right there on the floor. It was amazing to see their faces, to see those two heartbeats, to see my doctor grinning from ear to ear. (This was his first surrogacy too :) ) Holy crap, TWINS! What a blessing that a couple who has wanted a child for 15 years is now looking an an ultrasound picture with two beating heartbeats.

I cannot even believe that this is happening, our most hopeful hopes are actually coming to fruition. All we can do now is pray that this remains a strong healthy pregnancy. And there is no reason why it shouldn't. I firmly believe that everything in this journey so far has gone so smoothly because it is meant to be. I believe that God has put us in each others' lives for this very reason. And I believe this will be a great pregnancy; I am confient in that. I am the eternal optimist, for sure, but I am not naive. I know that this will be different because there are two babies. But that doesn't worry me, doesn't scare me, doesn't make me feel any more at risk. I am still going to work with my midwives and barring some crazy complication, I am having my natural vaginal birth. I will not be intimidated by having two; if I can push one out, I can push two out. This is not to downplay the hard work and difficulties that mothers of multiples face; this is just the beginning of my experience and there are things I have yet to experience. I am THRILLED to be doing this. I know some of my family is worried about this being "hard" on me, but I know myself. My mother told me when I informed her I was having an unmedicated birth with Roy and wanted her to be there: "I know you. You always do whatever you set your mind to. You never try something without knowing you can do it. If you say you can, I believe you." And yes, I am aware that with pregnancy and childbirth, you have to roll with the punches, that there are unforeseen circumstances. But I also know that for me and for a lot of women, labor is hugely mental. I always encourage my doula clients who want one to PLAN on a natural birth, not to TRY for one. If something changes, so be it. But "There is no try. Only do." I hope this doesn't come off as arrogant, that is not my intention. I just feel happy and confidant and strong. Thank you all for the love and support!!!

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