Monday, March 5, 2012

Crying

Those close to me know that I am a total sentimental basketcase. I get weepy over my children's accomplishments, sweet moments, even dental appointments. Outside of sentimentality, I don't cry. My default reaction if something is painful or bothersome is "suck it up, Buttercup". Today was an exception to that rule.
I had an HSG screening today, which is another test to make sure my lady parts are working the way they should before we implant the embryo. Since I had a similar screening a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't too concerned. I'll spare you the graphic details, but basically it involves filling my uterus with dye and taking x-rays after administering a numbing medication via needle. Yep, a needle near the lady parts. Not a good thing, but not the worst part of the procedure, which is mercifully short. Before the procedure, the doctor explained everything and told me I would experience cramping and bleeding off and on all day. No biggie, I thought. They said that with the last procedure and it was a piece of cake. Not so this time. Everyone experiences this in a different way, but for me, it was extremely uncomfortable. More cramping than I have ever experienced in my life, 10 times worse than any period. It brought tears to my eyes. And at that moment, a question the nurse had asked me before the procedure began popped back into my head. "Have you ever had this done before?" My answer was no, but at the moment I started crying I remembered that the intended Mother has been through this SEVERAL times. Each time in the hopes that this would be the time she would get pregnant and stay pregnant. So yes, I cried because it hurt like hell, but I also cried for her. I cried for the blessing that is my healthy body, the blessings that are my children, the unexpected blessing that allowed my husband to be there with me last minute.
The test went perfectly. My uterus, once again, passed with flying colors. All of you moms reading this, however your motherhood status was achieved, bless you. And if you know anyone who has been through struggles with fertility issues, give them a high five and a chest bump. They deserve it.

2 comments:

  1. Whew! You are a rockstar, Chastity. I gotta thank you for this insight into such a complicated process. To my naive mind, I think it just shouldn't be this awful. People get pregnant every day by ACCiDENT. Planting an embryo into a willing body that's already done the job before would lead me to think that the hormones get started and it's all systems "go". Naturally I defer to people who've had medical training, but it's hard for the uneducated to believe that each step of this process is necessary.

    Also, all I can think of is that dye coming back out. I don't want to know too many details, but.... What color was it?

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  2. Dejavudu,
    Every case is different. The intended parents in this case have been trying for over a decade to have a child. Every possible thing that could go wrong, has gone wrong. They want to ensure that when they transfer the embryo it will have the best chance of "taking" and having a successful transfer. In our case, I have to sync up my cycle with the egg donor cycle. My uterus has to be properly prepared for implantation, which means the lining has to be a certain thickness. Since I am not releasing the egg from my body (in which case it would thicken on its own), the hormones take care of that. The screenings make sure there are no cysts in my uterus which could interfere. Even though I've had two healthy previous pregnancies, each pregnancy is different, so a problem could have popped up since my last baby. So yep, every step is necessary in this case :)
    And the dye was like iodine :)
    Thanks girl, for your support. And it really isn't awful, just challenging. The worst is over. Once I'm pregnant, I will have to keep on the hormone shots for 2 months so that my body doesn't reject an "artificial" pregnancy. Then its alllll me!

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