Monday, December 5, 2011

Conversations with my children

I am fortunate enough to have been blessed with two of the most affectionate babies on earth. Their sweetness melts my heart, and sometimes I can't even stand how lovely their love is. I ache for them when they aren't with me, even on the days when they are driving me so crazy that its best they not be in the same room with me. My sweet Stella is a spitfire, but a nurturer, like her mama, and she is a dreamer. My precious Roy has BIG emotions, feels everything so deeply that it amazes me.
I sat down with them to try to explain what I am doing with regards to the surrogacy. This is the conversation that ensued:
Me: "Ok guys, I have told you this before, but I really want to talk to you about something. Mommy is going to carry a baby in her tummy for another mommy and daddy. When the baby is born, it will go live with its real mommy and daddy. "
Stella: "We don't get to keep it?"
Me: "No, the baby won't be ours. It will go home with its real parents."
Stella: "I wish we could have a big basket with a hot air balloon, then we could fly to the new parents house and give them the baby. Are they nice?"
Me: "Yes, they are very nice."
Stella: "Well, I wish we could keep it, but ok"
Roy: "Yeah, ok"
Stella: "I guess we will have to deal with it tomorrow"

Well all right then, I'll take that as a favorable response. Roy is such a mama's boy that I think he would have a hard time with me paying too much attention to another baby in our house; Stella would love it. But unless God intervenes and reverses Russell's vasectomy, that is NOT happening :) So we will see how things go as I progress in the pregnancy. Our goal is to keep having honest, open discussions with the kids so that they understand that families are made in lots of different ways. It is important that we keep things age appropriate, so I'm not planning on overwhelming them with too many details. In all honesty, I think it will affect Stella more than Roy, since odds are that she will remember it whereas he may not. Only time will tell, but I'm encouraged by their responses so far.


  1. I love that Stella had this grand production of giving the real parents their baby before she thought to ask what they are like as people. Keep it up Stella, that's the right attitude to have in life!

  2. Chas, this is terribly exciting! So if I understand correctly, we are still not yet at implementation, so no due date to speak of, right? I can't wait to hear more!

  3. dejavudu,
    It will be several months before I have the procedure for implanting the egg. Have to sync up my cycle with the egg donor. I have plenty to write about before then, so stay tuned!