Birth Stories: How Stella and Roy came to be

Since my talk the other night at Expecting 101, I've been thinking so much about my birth stories. I had a request to share them, so here we go...

Stella Elayne
My entire pregnancy with Stella was amazing. I never got sick and felt great pretty much the whole time. Other than heartburn, which I had never had before in my life, I was really blessed to have an "uneventful" pregnancy. I was under the care of the same ob/gyn I had been seeing for 10 years and felt really comfortable with her. I didn't take any birthing classes; instead, I focused on what to do with the baby once she got here. Newborn care, breastfeeding, baby safety- all over that stuff. Labor? Delivery? Totally uneducated. I was under the assumption that labor will hurt, I'll take it as long as possible and then I'll get an epidural. The only thing I was scared of was an episiotomy. I discussed this with my doctor and she said what I now know is standard doctor B.S. "I'd rather have a controlled cut than an uncontrolled tear". Eek, that sounded like it made sense (oh woefully ignorant me!!!)
At my 39 week checkup, I was 3cm dilated and almost 100% effaced. My doctor suggested we induce next week, since my body was obviously ready. Great! Sounds good to me! I want to see my baby! I had no idea what that entailed or that since there was no medical reason for induction that it could cause complications. So I agreed and one week later, the day before my due date, I arrived at the hospital at 7:00am. I was so excited!!! A doctor I didn't know came in and broke my water. I was hooked up to a pitocin drip, which meant I couldn't get out of bed. I started feeling contractions and pretty quickly they really started to hurt. I was 5cm at this point and I was offered and accepted an epidural. That meant I needed a catheter too, because once the drugs kicked in, I felt nothing from the waist down. Nothing. They had to roll me from side to side every so often so the epidural would distribute evenly through my body. At 3:00pm, I was 10 cm and ready to push. Finally saw my doctor for the first time just as I was starting to push. She pulled over a tray of medical instruments, including a scalpel, and said she wanted to go ahead and do a "small incision". I freaked out and asked why, what was wrong?? She told me nothing, we just wanted to go ahead and "help this big baby out". I looked and Russell and he reminded me that I said I didn't want it, but now I was scared and feeling very vulnerable, so I agreed.
Stella was born at 3:42, 8lbs 1oz, 21inches long.
She stopped breathing the first night she was alive, while she was in the nursery away from me. I wasn't told until the next morning. The nurses did not honor my wishes to bring her to me every 2 hours to breastfeed. We had to spend an extra day in the hospital because of her breathing issue that first night. I never saw my doctor again the entire time we were there; I only saw her at my 6 week checkup. My healing from the cut was awful and I couldn't sit comfortably for 6 weeks. I told myself that if I had another child, it would be totally different. I would be more in control, more educated and I would NOT have any drugs in my system that might make my baby stop breathing. I learned about my options and I became a doula so that I could help other women learn about theirs.

James Roy:
With Roy, I also had a great pregnancy, just like Stella's. But this time I was working with a midwife and was planning a natural childbirth. I went into labor 2 days after my due date, at 5:00am. We had a normal couple of hours at home, calling people and taking Stella to daycare. By 8:00, I my contractions were 5 mins apart and coming on strong. I called the midwife and we got to the hospital at 9:00. I was contracting strongly, but in really good spirits. In fact, the nurse checking me in didn't think I was really in labor because I wasn't freaking out. My midwife checked my progress and I was 8cm!! (Told ya so Miss Nurse!) I labored in several positions, moving around and finding what worked best for me. My husband and mother were my "doulas" and were amazingly supportive. Around 10:30, I was laboring in the tub and it was amazingly helpful. I felt the really strong urge to push, so Nicole checked me again and I was 10cm, ready to go. I got out of the tub and pushed in several different positions until I found the right one (lying on my side, propped up). My water broke on its own with a really strong push. My support team had stopped laughing and joking, and the mood was really intense at this point, which is NOT what I wanted. After a big push, I asked Nicole if it was too late for the epidural, just to ease the tension. She said "You are NOT telling jokes in the middle of pushing!!!" Why yes, yes I was. (See, natural doesn't have to be excrutiating and no fun!) 10 minutes later, at 12:01pm, I reached down and helped pull out my son. He went straight to my chest, and never left my side. He didn't go to the nursery for anything; everything was done right there in the room with me. He started nursing 15 mins after he was born, and about an hour after giving birth I was up and moving around, feeling no pain. Absolutely none. It was amazing and powerful and so, so right. Roy was 8lbs, 13 oz, 21inches long. And no, I did not tear nor did I need a "cut". My midwife had this amazing new technological intervention called "olive oil" that she massaged me with to prevent that tear from happening. Much better than a tray of surgical instruments.


So there you go; the two different stories of my babies births. Neither better in terms of importance, but absolutely different in terms of who was in charge of my birth experiences.